Missing

Yesterday I missed you. Missed you like I hadn't done in the longest time. I wanted you to be there, because you, and only you could make things right. You, and no one else, could make it so that my mistakes were only mistakes, and not a crime, not a monstrous act, an atrocity
Yesterday I didn't just miss u, I needed you, in a way that I had forgotten I could need someone. I guess I think your presence there would've been magical as it always was, putting things in perspective and, even if what I had done was unforgivable, you could've made me feel less guilty, less... ashamed of myself.

Since you've been gone I have known that it's not going to be the same without you, I just forget that it's so hard until... until things like these happen, and I just need you to hold me and to tell me that it's going to be ok. Even if you don't know it will, just so I can have some peace of mind and heart, and just because you'll be beside me.